How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Boobs speak an international language.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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