I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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