what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
