If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
