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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
