At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
