Having a random hookup so left but love u
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
