is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
