How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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