I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
