How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
