He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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