I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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