thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
