I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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