I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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