Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
