This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Brb crying the tears of my youth
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
