I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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