i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
