Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
