No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
last night I used snow as a chaser
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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