wrigley field is MILF paradise
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just cropdusted the office
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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