I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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