I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
