You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
