Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
