I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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