We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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