Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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