Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
