I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize