It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
