Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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