i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
