Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
