So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
