love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
