Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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