You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
