Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
