So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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