Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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