so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
