My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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