just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
