Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
