4 words: hood of his car
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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