I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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