Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
