My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
