if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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