Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
