If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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