Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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