i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
