Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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