Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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