Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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