I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
