just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
